noose

my feet are so cold here
cold floors that stay chilled long into summer
into winter
back to summer again
she raised the blinds and leaned back with all her weight
the cord noosed around her index finger
growing purple and swelling
would a neck do that? i thought
would a neck swell and shade like that
and she let the blinds fall fast and solid
let them hit the sill and dive to the floor
stopping, fated, collected, an inch above the floor

imagine if it had just gone straight through
she said
and i thought she was talking about the blinds
imagined them going to the apartment below and sinking
unsuspecting into the rest of the neighbor's head

but she wasn't talking about the blinds
but about the neighbor
and how he hung himself with fishing line
and jumped from a great height
and sawed off his neck to the spine

she rubbed her hands together and then on her pants
gripped her shoulders and arms and shook
like she knew him
i raised the blinds back up and we stared
out into the busy street