Adonai

the woman paused and pressed the pots to the stove
lifted each
ahavah, unetaneh tokef kedushat hayom
simmered their copper bottoms red she said
that's what gives copper it's color
the boy had each hand curled around the edge of the table
pulled up little chin to ledge and when he was being especially good she winked like they had a secret
and she kneeled down
do you want to know the secret of it all?
dropped and ready under tables crawled small arms and legs
given clothespins rubber bands red pens to play with

ahavat haemet
do you know what that means?
it means a love of truth

i've got older bones now
the boy visited and prayed and she touched his head
they were never in the kitchen now
i need to stay in bed
you need to stay in bed
they spent mornings making talk
and she had large eyes lifting and swaying with his stories
am kadshecha she held his hand baruch habah b'shem adonai
he could feel her bones and joints
he tried to memorize the room
yellow curtains, old sighs, pictures of me
chayei olam he fell asleep beside the quilts

when she fell, he heard the floorboards whisper
so slight they sighed so slight
u'teshuvah, u'tefillah, u'tzedakah ma'avirin et ro'a ha-gezeirah
she moaned and murmured like a kettle
she clutched her knees like stopping a swollen hose
he began to cry

b'rosh hashanah yikateivun, u'v'yom zom kippur yechatemun
they thought it together but they will never know that only you and I will know

do you want to know the secret of it all?

and he lifted her and put her on the bed and felt for breaks asked her still frame what happened how did it happen can you hear me
how can her bones be so small
and he ran to the freezer to get a bag of peas


once he had been under that table and saw the strength in her steps
that now sagged slowly like rotted wood
she dropped dinner I remember and she dropped it and we played in it before she threw it away

he elevated her legs and said
you'll be alright you'll be alright
he straightened her nightgown and realized he was sweating and crying
and hoped she hadn't seen his fear yet

do you want to know the secret of it all?

he was so fast he was so fast he was so fast and strong
she let her body settle and feel the movement of the room
the boy looked on
because she stayed so still


ani veatah neshane et haolam
you and I will change the world