city/circus

when you left
there had been a circus in town
and though it stumbled bankrupt
moth-eaten, rotten as last summer's porch
it had enticed you
lifting women's skirts and playing instruments
made to fit in your pocket
the jew harp, the harmonica,
you would have made a career as the best looking
and found tightropes to swing from
and a trapeze to sit on
mother said you'd left for a girl, or for a fortune
and i knew she didn't understand the wormy seduction of the carnival
that it served as only a preview of
the blazing lights
the blistering business
of the city


when i was fourteen
you wore your hair in a pomp
and had six hats with different brims
you taped your heels when you got new shoes
and i'd hear you up the stairs at night
announcing i've arrived i've arrived i won't stay long
and down again in the morning
i'm going going already gone

we sat on the roof of our house one night
you chewed some candy cigarettes and a toothpick
while i sat stiff with cold and the fear of skipping down the roof like rain
you hear that song? you asked
and i listened to melody of twigs bristling
and the small noises of creatures burrowed
water curling down the drainpipes
the bright lights and twirlings of stars
the clamor of night in the woods
i'll leave this all some day you said
i'm gonna find the city
that there's my city song
and you threw the toothpick into the night
but of course we never heard it land